When our primary caregivers are attuned to us and our basic physical and emotional needs get met well enough, we form a Secure Attachment to our primary caregivers. This enables us to develop a secure sense of self, feel confident and comfortable in our own skin, and experience ease coming into and out of connection with others. We trust ourselves and feel confident in our autonomy. At the same time, we feel safe with others and know we can rely on them when we need them. This forms a foundation of trust, ease and fulfillment for all future relationships.
When our primary caregivers were not able to meet our needs consistently enough, or were absent, intrusive or felt threatening, then our brains develop survival mechanisms to try to get our needs met. These get wired in as our Attachment Adaptations which form the blueprint for all future relationships.
The three Attachment Adaptations are Anxious Attachment, Avoidant Attachment and Disorganized attachment.
Healthy Attachment Re-Patterning (HARP) is a cutting edge process that provides ‘corrective experiences’ for adults who (like most of us) experienced attachment disruption with our primary caregivers as children. Through this process one can gently and efficiently release dysfunctional relational patterning from their nervous system, lay down new neural networks of safety, empowerment, and enjoyment, and create more connected, fulfilling adult relationships.
Based on the latest research in neuroplasticity, this revolutionary method retrains the nervous system out of frozen fight or flight responses into expansive states of relaxation, connection, peace and joy. This freedom from outdated survival mechanisms empowers individuals to experience greater ease, pleasure and deep soul nourishment in their relationships.
Unlike traditional talk therapy, this method releases survival programing on the level of the nervous system. Rather than simply treating behavioral symptoms, you heal the core cause of what’s blocking you from more fulfilling intimacy. It goes beyond the rational mind to actually rewire your brain and create new neural networks of safety, security and nourishment - so that you can finally feel relaxed, at ease, confident in yourself and deeply connected and nourished with others.
You Can Benefit from Healthy Attachment Re-Patterning If …
* You often feel anxious about being judged, rejected or abandoned
* You crave intimacy and yet find it scary or overwhelming
* You’re afraid of losing yourself in relationship
* At times you feel hijacked by strong emotional reactions (anxiety, shame, fear, sadness, defensiveness, resentment, anger, etc)
* The thought of getting close to someone and them leaving is terrifying
* You have difficulty identifying and/or advocating for your own needs and desires
* You continually push self-care, nourishment and pleasure to the bottom of the to-do list
* You can feel like you are continually attending to others, and sometimes feel resentful you aren’t receiving enough appreciation, attention, affection and care in return
* You want to feel more confidence and that you matter
* You fear having your space, autonomy and freedom infringed upon in relationship
Based on cutting edge research of how the brain, memory and the social engagement systems work, this powerful approach leads to:
* Enhanced sense of empowerment, freedom and connection
* Greater confidence and resiliency in your nervous system
* Release from patterns of isolation, shame, guilt, resentment and fear
* More ease coming into and out of connection
* The capacity to take in nourishment more readily
* Decreased anxiety and depression
* Increased capacity to develop and sustain intimate, fulfilling relationships
* Full engagement and enjoyment of life
Take the FREE Attachment Style Quiz. Gain clarity of your primary and secondary Attachment Styles - and how they might be affecting your adult relationships.
Your early attachment wiring forms your unconscious beliefs and expectations of relationship. It acts like an invisible 'lens' through which you view yourself, others and the world. You will be naturally attracted to partners who mirror your early childhood experiences and match your internal template of 'love.' If as a child you experienced your primary caregivers as generally safe, reliable, warm, caring, nurturing, responsive and respectful, you will likely attract available, loving, supportive partners. However, if you experienced your primary caregivers as unreliable, physically or emotionally unavailable, dismissive, invasive, domineering or otherwise un-attentive to your needs, you will likely struggle with feeling safe, loved, valued and honored in your adult relationships.
Your Attachment Style is like the operating system of your relational brain. It runs in the background, below your conscious awareness. It dictates how you experience yourself - whether or not you feel confident, capable and worthy of love and respect. And it determines how you relate to others - whether you generally feel secure in your connections with others, or you begin to feel anxious, avoidant, scared or confused when you get more intimate.
Your attachment style programming is usually installed early on, but updates can be installed later in life due to circumstances. For example, if you go through a traumatic breakup, you may develop more anxious or avoidant tendencies toward future relationships.
However, the reverse is also true. Through 'corrective experiences' with another, one can develop more secure attachment later in life. This can happen in an intimate relationship, or by working with a specialist in Attachment Re-Patterning.
"When I began working with Brynn, I was very much in a place of anxiety: afraid of rejection, afraid of disconnection, seeking approval, not allowing myself to experience joy because of its inevitable end. My inner little girl felt very wounded. She felt wronged, neglected by her father, incapable of being loved, distrustful. I started this journey with a lack of self-compassion. Wanting to be perfect, because only perfection would bring me the love I craved. Through my work with Brynn I'm setting a new imprint of what is actually true about me. I am repairing my relationship with my father. I am embodying the knowledge that I am worthy of a man's love and desire. I am embracing my own physical beauty knowing that it's intrinsically connected to the beauty of my heart. I'm learning to transform my pain into power.”
- Christina
"Before working with Brynn I was fraught with anxiety, insecurity, feeling needy and like I could never get enough attention, affection, sex, praise, re-assurance, etc. Through the work we have been doing I can honestly say I’m feeling genuinely happy and more at peace with myself. I realize I don’t have to be perfect, I can be me, and I’m enough. My wife is grateful for the changes - that I am less needy and more secure. You have taught me how to honestly give and receive love.”
- Larry
“I began working with Brynn because I was feeling stuck emotionally with myself and with my partner. Personally I've done a lot of different work over decades: traditional talk therapy, CBT, DBT, Yoga, you name it. It's been incredible working with Brynn. She has helped to accelerate getting unstuck and address some deep wounds. The support she provides during and post session are incredibly valuable and unique to working with her. Also when it comes to supporting one person individually and then a couple together, she really makes the process comfortable for all and again results are much faster than I have experienced in traditional settings. I understand more about why I was feeling stuck and having the emotional reactions that I was. I can now communicate my needs and wants better with my partner. Brynn has provided so many really actionable tools for me to use in my day to day to strengthen my relationships in a positive way.”
- Anna, Corporate Professional
“I started working with Brynn because I felt shame about even the thought of acknowledging my sexual needs or desires, let alone expressing them. I was feeling hopeless about the possibility of having a fulfilling sexually intimate relationship with anyone, including myself. The way in which Brynn framed and helped me understand the root causes of my issues has had a powerful impact. I feel validated and supported by her, working through issues of childhood sexual abuse to find my voice and not just freeze in situations where I am uncomfortable. I have been in therapy to heal from these childhood experiences for over 20 years, yet I am feeling shifts working with Brynn that I haven't experienced before. Brynn has helped me re-pattern my emotional responses and given me tools that have helped me re-shape my reactions to past experiences, which in turn has opened up room for me to change how I respond to the present. It is becoming possible for me to ask for what I want without shame or fear. I am feeling hopeful that I can heal and become a whole, empowered sexual being.”
- Laura, Learning Designer
“Brynn guided me with grace and compassion from a triggered state to insight to joy! Most impactful was her presence, which encompasses huge empathy, deep insight, safety, attunement, humor, engagement and wisdom. I can’t recommend Brynn enough. Take a risk! You’ve got nothing to lose.”
- Anne